Communicate and be heard

Today's sharing is all about communication.

What is communication? We all have different definitions of communication. But, the most basic definition of communication is the response you get from the receiver.

We all communicate for different reasons. Just to name some of them, we communicate to share ideas, to express our feelings, to bring a message across.

We communicate in different forms too. There's verbal communication, non verbal communication, etc. 70% of our communication comes from non verbal, i.e through our body language, facial expression.

Despite having the knowledge of the different types of communication, why we communicate, as individuals, we need to reflect on our communication techniques, whether we are an effective communicator.

Let's put it into context. I'm a grassroots leader, so I shall relate it back to the grassroots.

The question I have for you, readers is "how can grassroots organizations improve communication so as to have more residents' support in their activities?"

Well, to answer that question. We need to know: why we communicate, how we communicate, target audience, and the forms of communication.

I shall leave these question for you to ponder about.

To be continued.....

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Wisdom on knowledge

In the ancient Chinese classics, there were some well know texts about how should one deal with his knowledge. In this post, two of the well-known verses are examined and reflected upon. Some lessons learnt will also be documented.


知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也。(论语·为政)


This is a well-known verse from the Confucius. It was documented in the Analects of Confucius (论语). Its English translation is as follows:


Acknowledge what you do know. Admit what you do not know. This is show that you have wisdom.

We must be honest to ourselves. If we brag about something that we do not know or have no knowledge in, it is likely that we will make a fool of ourselves.


Previously I was working as a salesman of a leading software product. On some occasions I was not adequately prepared for meeting with my prospects. When the prospect asked me to provide more details on how my product can help solve his problem. I did not know in details on how my products work but I was eager to progress the sales to the next stage. As a result I tried my best to address the prospect’s questions with some truth and my assumptions (which are not entirely truth). When this was done to some prospects who did their homework and research, I was caught in an extremely embarrassed situation. In some cases I was ridiculed as a salesman who did not know his own products.


I learned my lessons. It is OK to tell the prospects that I did not have the answer for him at that moment. However, you should assure them that that you would revert the matter to them. Most of them would appreciate your honesty and integrity.

不知而言，不智；知而不言，不忠。(韩非子·初见秦)

This text appeared in Han Feizi. The English translation of the verse is as follows:

It is unwise to talk about something that you do not know.
It is not being honest (or loyal) if you keep quiet about something that you know.


The first part of the phrase (不知而言，不智) advises us not to talk about things that we do not know. This is similar to the earlier texts from the Analects of
Confucius. Acknowledging one’s own shortcoming is a wise move and it takes courage to do so.


It is more difficult to practice the second part of the verse (知而不言，不忠). In the middle of conversion, you noticed that someone is saying something that is not true, what would you do? Do you:
* Point out his mistakes?
* Keep quite to maintain good relationship with the other party?


Most of us would choose the latter option. Accordingly to Han Feizi, doing so is not being truthful or honest to the relationship of both parties. Any mistake or erroneous information, if not corrected, will lead to more untruths, misunderstanding and even rumors in future. In the long run, it might harm the relationships of the parties involved.


This type of situation frequently occurred when we are in a discussion with our bosses or superiors. Sometimes they may say some things that are incorrect, we may be afraid to antagonize them and decide to remain silent instead of correcting the erroneous conversation. Subsequently when the mistakes are discovered, our boss might blame us for not offering the correct advise at the right time. Thus it is still unwise to remain silent when you are in a position to offer good advice.


However, we must be careful when we try to offer good advice or correct the mistakes of the other party. It must be done with the following guidelines:

* Avoid taking positions – otherwise it will evolve into an argument of you versus me;
* Offer advice or provide correct information in a diplomatic matter. Position it as an opportunities for good information exchange for mutual benefits, rather than pointing out the mistake of the other party;
* If possible, asked questions to lead the other party to see the light, rather than forcing you point down the throat of him.


Lessons Learned
* No body is perfect, it is OK to acknowledge your shortcoming;
* When someone asked you questions or asked for help, it is OK to tell them that you do not have all the answer off-hand. Some answer can be provided later, after you do some more homework.
* As a professional or subject matter expert (of some domains), it is unwise to remain silent when you are in a position to offer good advise or correct some erroneous information. This should be done spontaneously.
* When giving advice or correcting a misconception of others, it has to be done in a manner acceptable to the other party. Otherwise the effort will be counter-productive.

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This is a guest post by: Tan Heng Meng

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Comfort zones & pushing boundaries.

Everyone of us have our own comfort zone. More often than not, we're very comfortable staying in our comfort zone, unwilling to try new things, take responsible risks, etc.

Staying in our comfort zone is not healthy as we do not grow mentally..

I would like to share my experience with you about how I stepped out of my comfort zone recently.

With reference to my previous post on choices, I mentioned that it's the period where the MOE Edusave Award Presentation Ceremony is being held across Singapore.

My youth committee was given the task of helping out for the event as an emcees. I saw this as an opportunity to challenge myself as emcee-ing was something that i'd never do.

Hence, I volunteered myself for a total of 10 sessions.

I was pretty nervous for the first session. However, as I did more sessions, it got better. And I could control the timing better.

Hence, I can safely say, it's achievement unlocked! I've pushed my own boundary 1 step further!

I hope that my fellow readers will be inspired to step out of your comfort zone & push your boundaries. Nothing is impossible!

Step out, speak up!

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Choices

The time of the year has come again. And it is the period when the MOE Edusave Awards are being presented to students based on their 2014 academic results.

I was at one of the RC centres this evening, doing my part as an emcee, sharing the joy with the recipients.

I would like to share this meaningful story which I heard during the address by the Guest of Honor.

There was once lived an old wise man & his mischievous disciple.
One day, the mischievous disciple caught a bird. With his hands closed, there was little space for the bird to move, except for a little hole just enough for the bird to ventilate. The boy, thinking that he might be able to trick the wise man, asked the wise man: "sir, do you think the bird is alive or dead?"
The wise old man thought to himself: "If I were to tell the boy that the bird is alive, he would crush it & prove me wrong. If I were to tell the boy that the bird is dead, he would release it & prove wrong."

Hence, the wise man then said to him " the bird is in your hand. It's your choice to let the bird live or die."

Thus, the disciple, feeling guilty,  opened his hand & let the bird free. He saw the bird soar like an eagle with awe.

The moral of the story is: the ball is our court. You have the choice to decide how you want your future to be, how you want Singapore to be 50 years down the road.

I quote "we are the young, the children of the world. We hold tomorrow in our hands. We are the young, the promise of A brighter day. The future waita at our command...."

Choose wisely, make the choice which you would not regret!

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The Learning Curve

"The Learning Curve" is a telemovie that was broadcasted on Channel 5, Mediacorp TV on Friday, 23 Jan 2015. This movie is about teachers giving every student a second chance.

I am writing this article as a reflection of the movie.

How is a second chance important to each and everyone of us?

Students make mistakes in school, they get a second chance, sometimes third, fourth, fifth, etc. Teachers are there to teach, impart life lessons and most importantly, to build character. 4 years of secondary school education is a long time, enough for us to learn, make mistakes, learn from them again.

When teachers build character, it's for the students to do the right thing because it's right. And not because their teacher says "I need to do the right thing, so I do." They do the right thing because it's right and their moral values tell them "hey, it's right." They know how to differentiate right from wrong.

All of us learn from many different ways. Sometimes, we learn from our failures, sometimes we learn from others. When a certain incident hits us hard, we learn from it, give ourselves another chance, and we take a new action.

If someone trespass against us, do we give them a second chance and forgive them? Or, do we ignore them and break off all ties with them?

I quote the following:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven."

Robert Downey, Jr.

Every student is a seed that can grow. As long as they are nurtured in a good environment, given space, and time to learn. Give others a second chance, for it might be a life changing one.

Lastly, I would like to invite you, my friends, to watch the following video.

The Learning Curve Episode 1

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Why kids hate studying?

As kids, we have to go through the education system. They have to go to school, attend classes and sit for exams. Most of the time, parents have to supervise their kids in their studies. A small handful of kids will enjoy the studying process while most will end up having no motivation to study. Have you wondered why is this so?

I myself didn't enjoy the studying process. I hated school and had no motivation to study most of the time. The only motivation of going to school is that I could see my friends and have fun together. Because of poor results, my parents enrolled me in all sorts of tuition in order to improve my studies. I hated studying even more and dread the tuition classes after school. It did force me to get better results but I still wasn't the least interested in studying.

In secondary school, I met a very good Maths teacher. Good in a sense that he was always encouraging towards me and believed that I could do better. I failed maths since primary school and could not even do simple maths problem sums. This discouraged me so much that I keep believing that I would never do well in Maths. I was often kicked out of class in primary 4 because I did not do my Maths homework. It was until this Maths teacher I had in Secondary 2 that changed my perspective towards the subject. I had new hopes that I could do better. Not only did I believed that I could do better in Maths, I even believed that I could do better in my other subjects. This lead me to getting good progress awards for consecutive 2 years and finally got a B3 for Maths for my O levels. It was a drastic difference from the E8 and F9 I got in secondary 1. 

Why kids hate studying?

1. They can't see the purpose

Kids hate studying for various reasons. One main reason is they can't see the purpose of studying. Parents often tell their kids that if they don't study hard, they will end up as road sweepers etc. This doesn't work because deep down inside, parents know that some people who are not too educated still succeed in life. Kids can sense it too. Parents need to show their kids one thing - School is about loving learning, not just about results. 

2. They don't believe in themselves

There is no one person who is stupid. Only those who believe they are stupid will end up being stupid. Kids need to be encouraged. As adults, sometimes we also need inspiration and encouragement from others. It is more so important for kids. Believe in them that they can do better. 

3. Kids are explorers

Kids enjoy the learning process. They are always discovering new things in this world. Lead them on a journey to self discovery. Let them be fascinated in the world of education. The education world shouldn't be projected as some scary monsters that eats them up when they sit for exams. 

Let them learn through exploring. They will learn to solve problems by themselves. 

Here's a good video of what learning through exploring is all about:

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Procrastinating now? Why not read this? ;)

Here are the common excuses that procrastinator make:

"I am so tired,  I shall do it tomorrow." 

"This is so difficult, I shall do it later."

"It's not really important, I shall do it next time."

"I have many things to do now..."

"There is still time to do this..."

"I do not have enough information about it..."

"I do not know how to do and where to start..."

Sounds familiar? 

We usually fail to realize that procrastination occurs way too much in our lives. When procrastination becomes a habit, we tend to make excuses subconsciously. 

The longer we wait, the worse it gets. 

Everyone has 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. Yet, why some people are able to do more and do better? 

These people are not smarter, they just know how to make good use of their time. They understand that time is precious and when time goes by, it will never return. 

One good proverb: 岁月流逝，时光一去不复返

Always remember that:

 

Therefore, 

Simply, the best way to get something done is to begin! 

* Stay tune to the next post "How to overcome procrastination?"

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What's next after "O" levels?

The O level results will be released soon in 2 more days on 12 January 2015! Are you excited over it? Or are you worried, wanting to press the panic button?

No fret, as I will be sharing with you my experience as an O level student back then.

Sec 4 life for me was a bitter-sweet experience. As I juggled between 2 CCAs, orientation camps as a peer support leader & studies, I had to manage my time such that I would have sufficient time for revision daily. Being drilled by my teachers to be consistent in my work & to set goals, I typed out my goals & paste them in front of my study desk, on the glass of my bookshelf.
This allowes me to remind myself that I have to achieve that.

So.. What goals did I set for myself (to achieve for O levels)?
English: B3
A maths: a1
E maths: a1
Combined sci: a2
Pure geog: b3
Combined humanities: b3.
Chinese: no target set.

To be honest, I was failing my english since the start of the year. Hence, I had to attend intensive english tuition classes so that I would be able to pass english.

When the results came out, I did achieve some of my targets set, while deviating from it slightly. Here's what I got:
English: b3
A maths: a2
E maths: a2
Combined sci: a2
Combined humanities: b3
Pure geog: b3
Chinese: c6 in may, b4 in november.

I had my eyes set on going to a jc as I wanted to do mathematics at a higher level. Although the polytechnics had a phletora of courses, j didnt know what to choose. So, going to poly would be quite risky for me.

I selected CJC as my 1st 2 choices, TPJC as my 3rd & 4th. SRJC as my 5th. The rest, cant remember. Well, I got into SRJC when the JAE results were out..... (to be continued)

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What's next after GCE "N" Levels?

It's been some time that the GCE "N" Level results have been released.

Let's look at the following pathways which you can take after N Levels.

Picture taken from: www.evergreensec.moe.edu.sg

First of all, you need to know where you want to go: whether to pursue a course at an ITE (Higher NITEC/NITEC), a course at a poly under the Polytechnic Foundation Programme, or to take the GCE "O" level examinations.

Take some time to reflect and decide on your future.

At the end of the day, what you decide now will affect where you will be and what you will do in the long run.

Secondly, do not choose a course just because your friends choose that particular course. It might be their interest, but this does not mean that it is your interest. Follow your heart and select the right course which you will not regret after embarking on your next phase of education.

If you were to take the GCE "O" level examinations, i.e . promote to sec 5, be prepared to work extremely hard because it would be a big jump from "N" levels to "O" levels. The questions will be more challenging that what you have gone through for "N" levels. Having a good foundation is thus an important start if you aim to sit for the "O" level examinations at the end of 5 years.

Last but not least, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

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